Jesus' Resume?

Why does this disturb me so much?   Anyone???

 

The  Résumé of Jesus Christ
Address:  Ephesians 1:20
Phone:  Romans 10:13
Website:  The Bible. Keywords: Christ, Lord,  Savior and Jesus
____________________________________

Hello. My name is  Jesus -The Christ. Many call me  Lord! I've sent you my
resume because I'm seeking the top management position in your  heart.
Please consider my accomplishments as set forth in my  resume.

Qualifications
    *   I founded the  earth and established the heavens, (See Proverbs 3:19)

    *   I formed man  from the dust of the ground, (See Genesis 2:7)
    *   I breathed into  man the breath of life, (See Genesis 2:7)
    *   I redeemed man  from the curse of the law, (See Galatians 3:13)
    *   The blessings  of the Abrahamic Covenant comes upon your life through
me, (See Galatians  3:14)
Occupational  Background
    *   I've only had  one employer, (See Luke 2:49).
    *   I've never  been tardy, absent, disobedient, slothful or
disrespectful.
    *   My employer  has nothing but rave reviews for me, (See Matthew
3:15-17)

Skills  Work Experiences
    *   Some of my  skills and work experiences include: empowering the poor
to be poor no  more, healing the brokenhearted, setting the captives free,
healing the  sick, restoring sight to the blind and setting at liberty them
that
are  bruised, (See Luke 4:18).
    *   I am a  Wonderful Counselor, (See Isaiah 9:6). People who listen to
me shall  dwell safely and shall not fear evil, (See Proverbs 1:33).
    *   Most  importantly, I have the authority, ability and power to cleanse
you of  your sins, (See I John 1:7-9)

Educational  Background
    *   I  encompass the entire breadth and length of knowledge, wisdom and
understanding, (See Proverbs 2:6).
    *   In me are  hid all of the treasures of wisdom and knowledge, (See
Colossians  2:3).
    *   My Word  is so powerful; it has been described as being a lamp unto
your feet  and a lamp unto your path, (See Psalms 119:105).
    *   I can  even tell you all of the secrets of your heart, (See Psalms
44:21).

Major  Accomplishments
    *   I was  an active participant in the greatest Summit Meeting of all
times,  (See Genesis 1:26).
    *   I laid  down my life so that you may live, (See II Corinthians 5:15).

    *   I  defeated the archenemy of God and mankind and made a show of them
openly, (See Colossians 2:15).
    *   I've  miraculously fed the poor, healed the sick and raised the dead!

    *   There  are many more major accomplishments, too many to mention here.
You  can read them on my website, which is located at: www dot - the  BIBLE.
You don't need an Internet connection or computer to access  my website.

References
    *   Believers  and followers worldwide will testify to my divine
healings,  salvation, deliverance, miracles, restoration and supernatural
guidance


In  Summation
Now that  you've read my resume, I'm confident that I'm the only candidate
uniquely  qualified to fill this vital position in your heart. In
summation, I

will  properly direct your paths, (See Proverbs 3:5-6), and lead you into
everlasting life, (See John 6:47). When can I start? Time is of the essence,
(See
Hebrews 3:15).

Send this resume to everyone  you know, you never know who may have an
opening! Thanks for your help and may  God bless you!